The Varuna Voyages
A gluten-free soya mocha frappe chino latte
Under the largest neon glow in Reno, a child was born, a child that would one day become the messiah and bring his ways to all leagues of men, women, children, creatures, moss…
His name is Kanno, Kanno East.
After a modest young life as the gum scrapper in the cities most average arcade he decides to become a musician and try his luck in the Big leagues (a nearby gay club), he has a few good months of rapping his hardcore tunes until he comes across an underground bunker hidden under the dressing room of his best friend Logan Lochness (the famed scottish themed pole dancer ).
In his head he believes that this is a sign from God, his father, so explores the many tunnels filled with many weird contraptions till he comes across a room which seems to have come off the set for Sungate; after a few seconds he decides that its for nerds, whips his long thick dread back and huffs and he turns and walks back to his job.
While walking through the mall the next morning for his gluten-free soya mocha frappe chino latte he gets stopped by a recruiter for the military, “Join us and become rich living your dreams!”
“what a great idea!” says Kanno “I know that you would be much better with me at my Kanno best, better than all the kanno rest…”
So joining the military he gets posted on a base in the middle of nowhere, to find that its doing research on these stupid looking stardoor things (how convenient…).
But one day as he’s reading his autobiography to himself he trips and falls into the luhman16gate contraption and wakes up in a place filled with people dressed like that one lindsey stirling video with the violins n shit, “Dis shit is craaay”, exclaims Kanno, to which a nearby man replies “Oh look, its one of those Americans, fnaaaaarrrrr”.
Lacing up his new weezys he clambers onto his feet to find himself next to a large metal tube… thing… to which he decides to claim as his own, walks over to the nearest person and tells them they should let him on because hes the messiah and they need him and his unique fashion/music/way of thinking to show them the way they should be going.
They accept and throw him (while sniggering) into the role of Helmsman.